Nenemin Ninnisi (My Grandma’s Lullaby)

This song was written in the Cairns rainforest while I was sitting in a sacred
tree, called grandfather tree, by the local indigenous people. It’s about coming home to your heart, belonging to your own self. It’s about reconciliation of yourself and your spirit.

Uzaklarda (far away)
Yagmur ormaninda (in the rainforest)
Dede agacina
Yalin ayak ciktim (I climbed grandfather tree barefoot)

Nenemin ninnisi (my grandma’s lullaby)
Daldan dala uctu (flew from branch to branch)
Kulagima kondu (perched on my ear)
Dinledim gecmisi (I listened to the past/ to history)
Duydum Anadoldu sesini (I heard the sound of Anatolia)
Duydum Anadoldu nefesi (I heard the breath of Anatolia)

Ninni nenemin sesi (lullaby, my grandma’s voice)
Ninni acti kalbimi (lullaby, opened my heart)
Ayitsin bir yere dedi (it told me I belong somewhere)

Ninni ninni ninni ninni (lullaby, lullaby, lullaby, lullaby)
Duydum Anadoldu sesini (I heard the sound of Anatolia)
Duydum Anadoldu nefesi (I heard the breath of Anatolia)

Yagmur (Rain)

Gece ayin yuzunu bulutlar orttu
(at night the clouds covered the face of the moon)

Yinede kus kafeste, ozgurce ottu
(yet the caged bird still sang with freedom)

Yazilmamis siirler, icimden dokuldu
(as unwritten poems poured out of me)

Niyetler damla damla, deftere dustu
(like intentions, drop by drop, falling into this notebook)

Yag, yag, yag yagmur
(rain, rain, come down rain)

Yenile beni
(renew me)

Gokyuzunde yuzeyim
(let me swim in your sky)

Sarayim seni (x 2)
(let me embrace you)

Silinsin bu tozlar
(let the dust be wiped away)

Dunyam gorunsun
(so my world can be seen)

Beslensin tomurcuklar
(let the budding flowers be nourished)

Ah nefsim sussun
(and my desires quiet)

Yaseminler bu sene kustu cikmadi
(the jasmine flowers refused to bloom this year)

Yinede bahar yeli, kokunu tasidi
(Yet the spring breeze still carried your perfume to me)

Yasanmamis anilarla, tenimi oksadi
(your scent brushed my skin with unlived memories)

Kadehime arzular, sek sek akti
(until my cup overflowed with longing)

Istanbul You and Me

(dum dey da di dey)

It came like snow
on this humid night
The kiss that landed
won without a fight
You said ‘this city
doesn’t ever wait
for 2 strangers
with one foot out
who hesitate

for 2 strangers
with one foot out…’

ooh ooh ooh

‘And lonely ones
won’t last
or make it alive out of here
now we’re caught
inside her walls
let me in yours
they’re not as old my dear

lonely ones
won’t last
or make it alive out of here
now we’re caught
inside her walls
let me …in …yours

(dum dey da di dey)

‘So let me in
your wa-a-a-a-a-alls  

Oh Istanbul

your walls
Your wa-a-a-a-a-alls  

let me in’

Istanbul your
heavy history
Put it’s foot down
cracked the shell off me
kicked up
the roots of my
my family tree
laid bare the pieces
that were keeping love from me

laid bare the pieces
that were keeping love from me-e-e-e

‘And lonely ones
won’t last
or make it alive out of here
now we’re caught
inside her walls
let me in yours
they’re not as old my dear

lonely ones
won’t last
or make it alive out of here
now we’re caught
inside her walls
let me in yours

(dum dey da di dey)

‘So let me in
your wa-a-a-a-a-alls  

Oh Istanbul

your walls
Your wa-a-a-a-a-alls  

let me in’

dum dey da di dey, dum dey da di dey

‘So let me in
your wa-a-a-a-a-alls  

Oh Istanbul

your walls
Your wa-a-a-a-a-alls  

let me in, let me in’.

The River

Like a drop

from my skin

Into the river’s mouth

you fell in

But to the greedy river

you were just one more

adventure hungry fool,

churning to his shore 

Just another excited fool,

begging at his door  

You were winter 

resisting spring

With cracks appearing

sunlight leaking in

To that heart of yours

Hungry for the warmth

In the self made darkness

that you call…

‘Freedom’

Is what you said it’s called

But if you would come back to me

I’d carry your heart inside of me

Together we’d drift, and roll towards change

like fallen leaves 

swept up and ta-ken by the dream

You my love, I just have to say

You, you were were just afraid  

To be loved  

be seen 

To be known

by me

To be loved 

be seen

To let go, to let go to me   

(Oh loved seen known free, oh let go, let go to me)

To Home Seas

Sister, oh sister I feared to see, to know you

coz the oppression I tore off, you still wear

With luck I found a looser skin

buried mine away

and the mirror you held up I kept at bay

You held up the mirror I kept at bay, I

kept our wounds at bay

7 was the number of times, he called you to his side

7 was the age you learned to please

On denial’s terms you served him tea

Tried to keep words down

But slowly they resurfaced, whispered loud

Slowly they resurfaced, whispered loud

we are your ticket out…

And so I sing

I-I-I-I

All rivers

gone off course

must return

I-I-I

I’ve returned

To home seas

In this world of parallels and contradictions

the ones we’re running from are who we need

I roamed for miles til I let you in

connected dots and learned

That rivers gone off course must all return

Rivers gone off course must all return

to home seas return…

I’m the bird that stole away

I circle and I land

from a solitary flight

on the sand

of this old shore

to scream, what you won’t say

they caged your voice away

And so I sing

I-I-I-I

All rivers

gone off course

must return

I-I-I

I’ve returned

To home seas

And I-I-I

I’ve returned

To home seas

(To home seas I’ve returned)

Night’s Bloom

Midnight blue, absence of moon

I close my eyes, breathe it in

Night’s bloom

In the still, southern air

my heart speaks the language

Known by you

It opens to you

petals of white

Stars are my heartbeats

the veil of night

Opens to you

petals of white

Stars are my heartbeats

the veil of night

Lifting, dissolving in your light, your warmth

my miracle, my morning sun

as good as the dawn

Ooh my sweet morning sun

coming home

When the crimson, was streaked with blue

and Night’s bloom, was fresh with dew

When the lines, between all things

wove all their little webs, anew

I wrap myself up

in your blanket of day

All longing melts here

beneath the sun’s rays

I wrap myself up

in your blanket of day

All longing melts here

beneath the sun’s rays

Lifting, dissolving in your light, your warmth

my miracle, my morning sun

as good as the dawn

Ooh my sweet morning sun

coming home

Hungry Little Heart

You said ‘here have some wine’
I-I-I thought you meant the whole bottle
But when you never said ‘come’
Why on earth did I run (to you)?

Well, your love was only half-baked
While honey, mine was full throttle
As I fell down screaming ‘nooooo’
you delivered your blow !

You said ‘I’m going,
It isn’t you babe’
And he was gone.
That’s how it went my friends
I think you’d seen it coming all along
That’s how it went my friends
I think you’d seen it coming

So tell me…
Where should I start
when this hungry little heart
keeps driving me west
to setting suns ?
oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh
My eyes they burn
and no stone’s been left unturned
but his still rolls along, gathers no moss
and slips away from me at every turn
I said ‘it slips away from me!!’

Then winter got its way
breezing in to your door dear
Why’d you let her inside?
She took you for a ride.
Now, this hungry heart
well it sits on my sleeve here
still tied to your strings
in denial she sings
That ‘you’re not going
it isn’t true babe’
but you were gone.
That’s how it went my friends
I think you’d seen it
coming all along!
That’s how it went my friends
I think you’d seen it coming

So tell me…
Where should I start
when this hungry little heart
keeps driving me west
to setting suns ?
oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh
My eyes they burn
and no stone has been left unturned
but his still rolls along, gathers no moss
and it slips away from me at every turn
I said ‘it slips away from me!!’

Papatya – (A handful of Daisies)

Bana bir avuc papatya getirdi
(he brought me a handful of daisies)
Yesil sari yamacindan indirdi
(from the green and yellow hill)
Bana bir avuc toprak getirdi
(he brought me a handful of earth)
Berketli Yaylalardan indirdi
(from the fertile hilltops)

Haydi kaybolmus gunes bulunsun
(come let the lost sun be found)
Zirvedeki buzlar artik cozulsun
(and the ice on the mountain peaks finally melt)
Haydi saklanmis daglar gorunsun
(come let the hidden mountains be seen)
Solmus renkler canlansin, hayat bulsun vay vay
(and the faded colours vibrant and back to life)

Dagin etegine dereler akti
(the streams flowed to the foot of the mountain)
Bahar yeli elbisemi salladi
(as the spring breeze swayed my dress to and fro)
Golun kiyisina sular ulasti
(The waters reached the shore of the lake)
Ucusan sacim dalga dalgalandi
(as my wind blown hair danced and waved about)

Haydi kaybolmus gunes bulunsun
(come let the lost sun be found)
Zirvedeki buzlar artik cozulsun
(and the ice on the mountain peaks finally melt)
Haydi saklanmis daglar gorunsun
(come let the hidden mountains be seen)
Solmus renkler canlansin, hayat bulsun vay vay
(and the faded colours vibrant and back to life)

Evet Yok Yes No

Evet Yok Yes No Evet Yok  x 2

The day my folks went

from east to west in 1973

They looked back at what they left

Without eyes to see

That, in a state of culture shock

They’d procreate a breed of

kids who spoke

In double tongues

With mixed identity oh

Oh oh oh
which me should I be

Oh oh oh what to do

With this dichotomy

Turkce konus kizim

(speak Turkish my daughter)

Erkeklere bakma dedim

(I told you not to look at boys)

Hazirmi ceyiz

(is your glory box ready?)

Nerden geldigimizi unutma PLEASE!

(don’t forget where we come from please!)

Evet Yok Yes No Evet Yok  x 2

From west to east

I took that plane

And from my window seat

I saw a bridge across the Bosphoros

built in1973

if they could bridge 2 continents

I could find a way to be

Connected to

the foreign roots

of my family tree oh

Oh oh oh
which me should I be

Oh oh oh what to do

With this dichotomy

Turkce konus kizim

(speak Turkish my daughter)

Erkeklere bakma dedim

(I told you not to look at boys)

Hazirmi ceyiz

(is your glory box ready?)

Nerden geldigimizi unutma PLEASE!

(don’t forget where we come from please!)

Oh oh oh oh oh, ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh

I’m a yabanci (I’m a foreigner)

Oh oh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh

Wog gringo gaijin ejnebi (I’m a foreigner, an outsider, the ‘other’)

Wog gringo gaijin ejnebi

Just last year I returned to Oz

With treasures from the east

Where I penned these tunes

even graced the stage at Anzac centenary

I discovered home’s nowhere

If not inside of me

Now I zigzag happily

Between identities

Oh oh oh
which me should I be

Oh oh oh what to do

With this dichotomy

Turkce konus kizim

(speak Turkish my daughter)

Erkeklere bakma dedim

(I told you not to look at boys)

Hazirmi ceyiz

(is your glory box ready?)

Nerden geldigimizi unutma PLEASE!

(don’t forget where we come from please!)

Nerden geldigimizi unutma PLEASE!

Nerden geldigimizi unutma PLEASE!

All I’m Seeing (Is Your Face)

Oh hot summer sun streams in I’m still in bed, another day, of getting nothing done Soon sweat ‘s trickling down your skin and you wish for a breeze, as you work hard to please You’re like the constant little sun Beautiful when you appear Every single day And like, the fleeting little sun You’re nowhere when the night time comes Half a world away And all I’m seeing is your face I’m forgetting my friend’s names Like lazy drops of rain These days and I Are falling We met when the jacaranda’s bloomed On that day in spring when you leaned in To say all the right things Oh no now you’re in my room And I’m bending out of shape for you, breaking all the rules I’m like the moody little moon Sometimes I show you all of me But then I hide away And like the silver little moon I’m cool here on the surface but you take my breath away And all I’m seeing is your face I’m forgetting my friend’s names Like lazy drops of rain These days and I are Like the moody little moon Sometimes I show you all of me, but then I hide away And all I’m seeing is your face I’m forgetting my friend’s names Like lazy drops of rain These days and I Lazy drops of rain These days and I Lazy drops of rain days and I Are falling

Season of Plums

In the season of plums, the ripe of the day She lay down beside him to have her own way Shy and demure, he gave his okay As long as she’d marry him next Saturday She promised she would, just like in the movies And life could be all the storyline said it could be So they kissed in the grass, stirred all the dirt The dust danced its way up from under her skirt It sprinkled the air, swayed with the trees How he adored her, this one he could please He promised he would, just like in the movies And life could be all the storyline said Life could be all the storyline said………. La la la la la la So what do you think became of this pair Did she wear her white dress, was there grease in his hair? Well on that fine day in the season of plums Her father did see them and pulled out his gun To shoot them oh no! just like in the movie His sweet little apple had fallen so far from the tree and they ran for their lives the young and the brave escapees yes in the end, they did marry and their lives could be all the storyline said La la la la

Invisible Ones

Someday yeah yeah yeah To my invisible walls I cling in every way Yeah old fears that keep me small Drive my everyday And in these walls You never wana stay When I try to seal you in, it pushes you away And I’ve got no excuses left if you don’t lead the way So won’t you rescue me from stormy seas Where the winds are raging and my cover’s blown I’ve stowed behind this love for years I don’t wana steer this little boat, from my comfort zone I don’t wana do this on my own I’m the invisible one I push you away Something buried in the past Keeps my love at bay And so then I act In terrible ways oh is not to hurt you baby but to feel again, oh its just because I need to feel again Rescue me from stormy seas Where the winds are raging and my cover’s blown I’ve stowed behind this love for years I don’t wana steer this little boat, from my comfort zone I don’t wana do this on my own I don’t wana do this on my own

My Own Sweet Life

In the shallows I will wade today Deep waters drag me down While the sun is out and the tide is out I’d like to float around Til the winds begin and my summer skin Starts to peel away Starts to peel away I’ll be slowing down to read the signs I won’t turn my back this time On my own sweet life Yeah this time I’m gonna live My own sweet life And I will watch the fisherman on this salty sea When they leave 6 fish in hand They might give one to me If I stay like them, sit still and then Wait here patiently What else could come to me But if I run for love, give myself up A dust cloud’s all I’ll see, rising from my feet I’ll be slowing down to read the signs I won’t turn my back this time on my on my own sweet life yeah this time I’m gonna live my own sweet life

So Mama

So Mama, what you’re saying is right It’s true There is no-one perfect It’s gotta hurt me sometimes too But if you had the bag of choices You cleverly gave me Would you fly this nest and see the world Or stick with family? I’m not gonna end up Alone like you say Though it might take me some time To find my way I know, I know that papa Well he tried his best to get it right Sometimes he was pure sunshine Other times your night I caught his blazing fever And you know I got your stubborn will And the last thing I wana do is go But something in me just can’t keep still I’m not gonna end up Alone like you say (you’re just afraid) Though it might take me some time To find my way I’m not gonna end up Alone, like you say Though it might take me some time to find my way Well it’s been like a lifetime, that I’m I’m still looking yeah yeah To find my my way

06 Boab Tree

Benim gibi ozlesen, benim gibi sevseydin Benim gibi ozlesen, benim gi B-O-A-B I stand out in the Kimberly Under a boab tree Who in her tear-soaked, hollow trunk Housed the detainees Oh prison tree Crying out And in the boab tree I can read the name Of every bloodtype family Sliding down our veins Benim gibi ozlesen, benim gibi sevseydin Benim gibi ozlesen, benim gi B-O-A-B We’re trapped inside worn legacies Like in the prison tree Handing down from breast to mouth Agendas of our ancestry All the little wars Are on and on (repeat) And in the boab tree I can read the name Of every blood type family Sli-i-iding down our veins Yeah in the boab tree I can read the name Of every blood type family Sliding down Sliding down And in the boab tree I can see the name Of bloodlines of our ancestry Ghosts from where, ghosts from where we came